I found myself at my lowest point. I was sitting in a drunk tank looking back on a life of nothingness. No real accomplishments, nothing to show. 31 years old. My first DUI, February of this year, 2012.
For the last 14 years I have been lost. No direction. Living in excess. The truth is I may never have known myself.
It starts well before this, but this seems to be as good a place as any:
I joined the military, U.S. Army Reserves, in 1997 (my Junior year of high school) and left for boot camp on my 18th birthday. (June 30th, 1998). Before this I guess I had a decent high school life. I was a captain on the basketball team and I also was the Homecoming King and Prom Prince. But I didn’t have a trust fund or excellent grades to rely on so I decided to join the Army to help finance my education. I chose an A.I.T program (training for your particular job) based on the length of the course. I found one that was 7 weeks long. My original plan was to get to school right away and major in graphic design. I didn’t go right away.
I cycled through bad job after bad job until I finally did go in 2005, when I received my honorable discharge, but still did not pursue my dream. How mixed up I was. I chose to pursue a business degree. Business degree?! I never had any interest in being a businessman, but I also didn’t want to be a “starving artist”. I let my fear control me.
I turned to booze and sometimes whatever else I could get my hands. I stayed in bad relationships for fear of being alone. I had no identity. I was depressed most of the time. Mood swings, unhealthy eating, smoking cigarettes was my way of life.
Flash forward 14 years to me, sitting alone, drunk, in the coldest most uncomfortable concrete room imaginable I call out to God. I have never been the same. That night God changed me so much for the better. I’m paying for the mistakes I have made, but I’m getting my life right with God and have been sober and smoke-free ever since. Words cannot express the gratitude that I now have in my life. The air is cleaner, the birds sing sweeter and every relationship in my life has gotten so much better.
So now I’m living for life. I’m living for God. Jesus is my savior and I’m very proud to proclaim that. I still make a lot of mistakes and I have a long way to go. I have a temper that sometimes gets the best of me. I am a very honest person, sometimes brutally so and I probably need to tone that down a bit. I am faithful and committed. I hate broken promises. I believe that people that put the roll on upside down may very well be on their way to serial killing. I am insecure and working on that. I require love and constant reassurance. I’m sometimes too lazy and need help getting motivated. I love to read and soak up knowledge about any particular subject I’m into that week. I volunteer at the local library and do my best to live right.
I also love to cook and eat healthy. I’m getting into shape too. I’ve lost 40lbs. since I’ve started and starting to get this mush into shape. A little more about me if you aren’t bored yet: I’m a hack on guitar, but some, very few, say they like it. I love photography and being in nature. Hiking and kayaking are some of my favorite things to do.
Oh and the reason for this blog, sketchingbrad, is I love to draw. This is my original passion and it’s my outlet on life. The whole reason for this blog in a nutshell. I pray specifically that this blog will be fruitful for my soul and others who take the time to read it.
SketchingBrad is a play on words. I will be sketching, drawing, creating, whatever you want to call it, but also it’s a reference to me growing and rebuilding myself into a person that I like and want to be.
Two things I know that will always be true:
- God is the sculptor.
- And I will always be a work in progress.